at night, I fade do a different person. Or maybe this is real, and I’m different during the day. Either way, I hate this feeling. I’ve been so happy over the last week, even the last few weeks, except when I fall back into these thoughts. And I don’t even know what these thoughts are or why they come up.. I just want to be happy 100% of the time, and that seems like an impossibility. I guess there can’t be light without dark or whatever that fortune cookie bullshit saying is, but I just want. Fuck I don’t know what I want anymore. I just hate this. I hate this part of me. I hate everything.
But I’m trying to play it cool.